ARE YOU ENABLING?

                                                                                                     Do I Enable My Family Member?

1.         Do I put their needs ahead of mine?

2.        I rarely let them know I am angry about their behavior? 

3.        Their behavior affects my serenity?

4.        I am more in touch with their feelings than my own?

5.        I do anything I can not to “rock the boat” in attempts to control their behavior?

6.        I feel resentful when no matter what I do, the behavior does not change

7.         I try to control the environment (functions that do not include or might encourage the behavior) i.e., drinking/using/gambling?

8.        I keep “secrets” from those who might help?

9.        I make excuses for their behavior?

10.      I sometimes retaliate by “doing my own thing or by doing their thing” to show them how it feels?

11.       I feel good about myself only if the family “behaves”?

12.      I rarely ask for help from anyone?

13.      I spend a lot of time pretending things are “fine”?

14.      Their “dreams” are my “dreams”?

15.      I “go along” to avoid any conflict?

16.      I no longer have my own “circle of friends”?

17.       I find myself feeling mentally, physically or emotionally drained?

18.      I seem to have forgotten what fun is?

19.      I find myself complaining or criticizing others and myself?

20.      I find myself feeling hopeless and helpless and as if nothing will ever change?